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I recently spent one month inpatient in the mental ward of the hospital getting ECT three times a week. The procedure itself was not bad at all. The night before they would insert a catheter in my vein to put the anesthesia and muscle relaxant right before the procedure the next morning. I have to say the anesthesia burned quite a bit, but just by the time I didn't think I could take it anymore, I was out! They came to get me pretty early in the mornings. I was back and ready to eat by breakfast. I'm pretty sure the doc did bilateral ECT, but I'm not real sure which is better -- that or unilateral. Two different docs alternated days to do this and one of them was my personal psychiatrist. (One reason I picked him 2 years ago cause I thought I would end up going this route, but he wanted more medication trials first.)

Unfortunately, so far, I can't claim to feel much better. I'm still on loads of meds. (I'm told I'm med resistant.) So I will keep you updated during the next month or so. I do have some memory problems, that is, MORE memory problems than usual (LOL). But I'm doing fine here at home all by myself so I guess it's not that bad. Right now I'm still going to the hospital each morning for group therapy. It will only last another week or so. Oh by the way, I've been diagnosed since 1996 after my husband left me (cause I was never happy enough). I guess I made his life miserable. I've had problems with this as far back in my life as I can remember. I just thought everyone felt this way. At least then I had my hypomanic times but now I am mostly depressed or in a mixed state (usually depressed, but agitated and hyper), especially since I started treatment. I am on permanent disability and I think the lack of something to do has a major impact on my moods. So I spend alot of time on the computer.

Well it's been some time now since I had ECT and it was considered a failure. I've had bipolar since I was quite young -- I didn't know that other kids didn't lay in their beds and want desparately to die. I am bipolar II, depressive type and med resistant. Which basically means no matter what they do I am depressed. As I said in the earlier part, my husband left me because of it, but I wasn't diagnosed then. Still thought the feelings I had were normal. I rarely get hypomanic, but I love it when I do. I get things done, I get creative and I don't cause too many problems (I had a little bit of a high opinion on myself when I was working!) I haven't been manic for quite some time. I know now that the bad part about being manic is that the crash is harder and there's the possibility if this doesn't get under control, I will get full-blown manic attacks. But the doctor just put me on lithium (again) and said maybe with the other meds, it will work. I do feel a little better so I have some hope. I'm very tired cause I think he has me pretty sedated at night and I take Klonapin during the day. He wants to keep it that way until at least after the Holidays. There have been times where I've been on 7 or 8 meds at one time. So I'm really hoping this will work and he can get me off of what's making me so tired. (I sleep 12 hours a night -- and that's only cause my dog gets me up then!!!)

I'm known on Pal Talk as Cindy Anne or Choco Lab Lover so say hello if you see me.

 

 

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